I still feel the sting of nostalgia when last summer comes to mind. It's funny how hearing someone's name can change your whole mood, huh? Yeah, this is all pretty funny. I guess throughout the past year my whole outlook has changed. On anything from peanut butter, to past relationships, to comic books, to antique bathtubs. I don't think in the same way and I don't see people the way I use to, either. But I don't think some feelings you can ever loose. Although the memories are fading, the last strands are withering beneath the power of the wind and all our lost hopes, I don't really think that they'll ever let go. I know they won't let go. At least not for me. Throughout the past nine months or so I think the most effective way of coping with losing him was to repeat, and learn to believe, it simply just wasn't the same for him. But I think in this new mind set I'm comfortable enough to take another look. I digress. I don't know if i'll ever be "comfortable" with reliving any part of us. Simply because it still feels like the grounds of all those memories shake with the all feeling that was there. But now looking back, I lied to myself. It was never nothing to him, and things were never just 'not as important' to him. I've dug out all the old letters, my journal entries, and everything he'd written when we were still unstoppable. And it's indisputable. I just... can't deny the sincerity of it all anymore. That's something the greatest actor there ever was could never fake. It was feeling's I've never felt and feeling alive for the first time in my life. It was hours upon hours spent with butterfly stomachaches. Summer nights spent watching the sunset at the levee. All the promises we made to never come undone still still linger in the air. None of the memories or feelings ever left. They're still here in my chest. Weaved into my rib cage and sprouted into my lungs. Although nostalgia has a nasty sting to it, I wouldn't trade these memories for the world.